Happy Fricking New Year

My thoughts on the whole Christmas and New Years thing,

Lets start off with Christmas Shall we,

Now i used to love Christmas, i remember that i couldn't sleep for a week leading up to it, school seemed to never end, each day getting longer and longer, the Christmas holidays always seem just out of reach, and we always got home work over the Christmas holidays, why? did they actually think that a bunch of kid were going to sit at a table and do homework when there is fun to be had, i don't think so, well not that i ever did home work, but thats another story,

So, whatever day it was came along and the school would let us out early, we'd say "see you next year" to every one of our friends as if it was this big joke, secretly saying to ourselves "what i actually meant was, i'll see you in January not in 365 days or 366 if its a leap year",

ah those goofy kids,

There is always a huge build up to Christmas, its like months in advance, don't those advertising companies understand the stress they put on our little minds, advertising months in advance just makes us want Christmas to came sooner, which mean it seems like it takes longer, what's wrong with you people, do you like torturing small children, you wave Christmas goodies in front of our faces then laugh at us from behind the cathode ray tube saying "nope not yet, you still have two months to go" haha very fucking funny,

I was that kid who never really believed in Santa Claus,

Actually the prospect of a fat dude jolly or not shinning down the chimney with a sack over his shoulder in the middle of the night kinda crept me out, think about it, he gets away with because its Christmas, if he did that at any other time of year he'd get arrested for either attempted robbery or trying the tempt young children to sit on his knee, either way not good,

Anyway, kinda lost track there,

Christmas Eve would roll over and my mother would let me and my sister open one present each, and we got to choose, as long as it wasn't any of the big ones, and so we'd open one which would tides us over for the next 24 hours, its kinda like, getting a Christmas fix, you wake up early on the 24th and your all sweaty and shacking, you say to your mother "i gotta have one man, please, i'll do anything, pay anything (not that you earned money at such a young age, unless you were sold into slavery and let out in the holidays, which means you could, maybe pay or bribe your way to an early christmas pressy) she'd cave and you got your fix, and it would wash over you like a cozy blanket, you'd hug it, crash it, jam it in the top loader, or try it on, but it would get you though the next 24 hours, barely.

Christmas Day, December 25th (in case you didn't already know) 5am, i'd be awake, shaking again, needing that fix, silently, like a Ninja but not any Ninja, a Ninja who is trying desperately to avoid Chuck Norris, I'd slide out of bed, and hiding in the shadows, Ninjaly quite like a cat stalk to my bedroom door, out in to the hallway, damn the light is on, you see, my mother can hear like Superman, but her eyes can't see for shit, making sure my foot falls are as close to the walls as possible so not to make the floor boards creak, This is like so kind of covert mission, not to make it in one piece to the Christmas tree, but to evade my mum, anyway, with Ninja patience and zeal, i'd get to the stairs, looking down into the darkness that is the hallway, Here b dragons, step on the edges of every step down i'd go, descending into darkness, the only light, faint as it was, came from the Christmas tree light, in the living room, once down i could relax, but only a bit, for the floor was concrete, and made no sound under foot, again i attach myself to the shadows, those super radar like ears are searching for me i knew it, the living room door was in reach, the shaking was getting worse, i push the door, and like an old hammer horror the door doesn't just creak, it screams in pain, so loud the neighbors could hear it, surely she heard it, i freeze, using the shadows like only a trained Ninja could, 

hey i was 9, in my own mind i was a trained Ninja, every 9 year old with an imagination worth a damn is a Ninja,

I wait, i listen eyes closed, as if it would help to enhance my hearing, turning my head slightly to the left, again i though it would help, what, they do it in the movies, whatever,

but to my surprise and glee i hear nothing, so slowly i push the living room door open, it creaks but its open enough for my to slide though the gap,

The tree, like a shining beacon of hope and toys flickers in the corner, up i stand, slowly i move towards it, convinced my mother the Jedi master would appear out of nowhere to thwart my effert,

There i stand at the foot of the tree of Christmas the one symbol i cared about, because my toy were sitting underneath, i slow lower myself to the floor, and start routing though, tossing presents without my name on them to one side, i find one and start to open it, then, like a banshee for hell, JASON WHAT THE F**K ARE YOU DOING GET TO BED OR THEY'LL BE NO CHRISTMAS FOR YOU, YOU LITTLE SHIT (she never said that i just added it for dramatic affect), anyway, i'd go back to bed and the next few hours would be the longest i'd ever have to wait for anything, ever.

The moral here is that no matter how good a Ninja you think you are, your Mother is a fricking Jedi, and knew what you were going to do before you did.

Christmas for me lost its splendor when i was about 15 or 16, i just kinda got bored of it, the thought of having to stand there and open presents in front of people is a little, how can i say this, childish, you could put my presents in a Tesco's bag and i'd appreciate all the more.

Christmas for me means family not presents or Santa, its a time you break bread at the diner table with your family, not just the ones you live with every day, but those you don't get to see very often, its a time to come together as a family,

Also, as an individual i think it helps to have kids, to enjoy the wonder of the day with your children, the best part of the Christmas Holidays for me was watching my 4 years nephew open presents, the look on his face when he opened a power ranger action figure and the horror on his face when he opened a pair of socks, then sulked a little and throw them to the floor, priceless.

New Years for me is just a number change on the calender and an excuse to drink, and you all know i don't need an excuse to drink, again its just another reason to party, but my thinking is, why do you need the reason, just party anyway who cares what time of year it is, milestones are different though, the year 2000 for instants, i mean how often does a millennium come around?. Oh wait...