App Test blog

Blog written using the iPhone App Blog press

~iPhone entry~

Which, was easy to set up and to use, apart from the small screen, which you loss half of once the keyboard pops up, i'd rather use my Mac to write these blogs because i like to be able to see as much of it as possible without having to scroll up, but for a quick, short, spontaneous blog its great, also, it has picture support.

As I sit here reclined in my office chair ignoring the vital CCTV as cleaners from every corner of the galaxy move aimlessly to and throe "cleaning" all I can think about is "is this app any good and can I write a long blog using it" also "I wonna go home". No i couldn't write a long blog, infact the first paragraph was written at home.

Yes I'm tired and my eyes hurt and I have a lovely trip to look forward to on Londons public transport system, but I have a copy of The Road to read so it ain't all bad, unless I fall asleep on the train, but once home and tucked up in bed I'm sure to waste quite a long time asleep on my first day off. I awoke at 4pm'ish.

Today i.

Took my passport application to the post office, it cost me £85.50p, 77.50 for the passport and 8 for the post office to check it for me, which i think she did in front of me, basically she looked at it and said, "yeah it looks good" (in a think indian accent) hopefully there won't be any issues with it and it comes back quickly.

Also, tonight is my last night before starting my shift again tomorrow :( i'm not looking forward to it, i can't articulate just how much i hate that fucking job, its not the type of work itself, i was doing security before and that was fine, still boring though, the company, even though i'm not really into the fashion industry, i think its all a bit pointless, its something for rich people to spend money on and think that their better then everybody else because they can afford to spend 17 grand on a handbag, i mean really wheres the sense in that, we have telethons every year because people are starving and rich bitches are spending my years salary on a fucking handbag, sorry i got a little self righteous there, but in saying that what could 17 grand do for hungry people around the world, a damn sight more then a handbag thats for sure, it'll most likely get used a few times then sit in a closet collecting dust until the animal its made from is extinct, i dismiss the fashion bullshit, the managers are the same as every other place on earth, Shit rolls down hill and respect can only go up, basically, we get shit on and HAVE to like it, but even that i'm used to, but not in a literal sense, I've never worked in a job that was a prominent night shift, i call security a slow death, because your not doing much of anything and it fells like your dying, security on a night shift however feels like i've already died, but no ones told me yet, as if doing so will make me drop down dead.

I didn't work last week, i had the weekend off :) and its felt so damn good. Over the last 4-5 months, maybe more, i've been getting increasingly tired, i was only able to get 8 hours of sleep in any 24 hour period, but i'd start getting tired after only being awake for about 6, so i started having kips (naps) at around 2 to 3 pm for about an hour and a half, of course that removed an hour and a half from my 8 hours of daily sleep allowance, meaning that i'd get 6 and half hours that night, needless to say my sleep patterns were fucked and i constantly felt like crap, but the last few weeks i have felt great, no longer tired, waking up in the morning feeling fresh and rested.

And tomorrow all that ends, tomorrow at 19:00 (GMT) i start my shift again.

New Blog.

I haven't written a blog for nearly 2 months, the last one was about one of my short films getting a screening in Covent Garden, London.

Since then, i've tried to write more, read more, but all i've done is watch seven seasons of 24, and Star Trek the original series, now i'm watching Star Trek the next generation, i just started on season 4 today.

Over the last 5 months i've become very lazy, sometimes on days off i don't even leave the house, its pretty sad really, and as a result, i'm gaining weight, at work all i do is sit on my ass watching security cameras (CCTV) in an area of London that is flanked by Government building and is patrolled by armed police, Yes, we have armed police in certain areas of London, they carry Glocks and H&K MP5k's, so the prospect of getting 'hit' is very low, unless they are a seriously hard core, well equipped animal rights group, there are more CCTV cameras in the square mile where i work then any other in the UK, maybe the world, so i feel pretty safe, sometimes i get so bored i come very close to falling asleep, i'm not sure i can articulate how boring my job is but i'll try;

After you've woken up and gotten dressed, and at 7am/pm sit in your living room, on a dinning room chair, or one of little comfort, no television, no radio, just an open curtain so you can see outside (a stand in for CCTV), you can make cups of tea/coffee and use the toilet, but not until after 9/10pm, and you can't use a phone to talk to friends (i'm describing how your supposed to do the job) at 1pm/am you can have an hours break, you can do what ever you like, turn on the radio, watch television, read or sleep but you can't leave the building/your house/flat, then at 2am/pm sit back in your chair, if all seems quiet you can go for a walk to stretch your legs, but again, you can't leave the building/house/flat, if you smoke you can stand outside the front/back door to smoke, then at 7am/pm you can stop.

Please try what i have described above and tell me you could do that 3/4 nights a week and not get bored, suicidal or go weird and talk to yourself.

I do this 3 night of the week, they just so happen to be the most social nights of the week Friday, Saturday and Sunday, i have to take annual leave to see and go out with friends, it fucking sucks, and i don't get unsociable pay for it, and the company i work for made 1 billion pounds profit last year, i get paid 16,500 a year, i can't even afford my own place, living in London is just to damned expensive and moving outside of London and travelling in would cost about double what i pay now, which is £20 a week, £80 a month, just to get to work, and with no on site food i have to buy my own or starve, that adds up to about £15 a week, that £35 a week just for work, that £140, and that if i don't eat very much, if i want to eat more i could spend over £200 a month, just on work, that nearly a fifth of what i earn a month.

I eat foods that keep me awake, so lots of sugar, and all i do is sit, so i gain weight, and after a year and a bit of night shifts i'm constantly tired, i mean all the time, after 3 or 4 hours of waking up i'm yawning, give it 10 hours and i need a quick kip (nap) or by 10pm i'm to tired to stay awake, and if i sleep at 10pm, i'll be up ate 4 or 5 am which is no good, my body clock will go all over the place.

So to some up;

I hate my job.

I'm always tired.

I can't concentrate for very long, or at least not long enough to write anything.

And my sleeping patterns are all over the place.

Which'

Makes me irrational and irritable.

I need a new job, working during the day Monday to Friday.

New beginnings..?

I'm at work, can't say i like being here, its not the company i work for or the company i keep here, some are decent folks, others, not so much, I've written about my misgivings about my management before so i won't go into it now.

I guess i would like to be remembered as a writer and or director of Motion Pictures, not that, at this moment, i am either, but i have been writing for some years now and if you read my last blog you'll understand my writing style, what i mean by that is the slowness of it, I'm a slow writer, it takes me a long time to finishes a script, mostly because, i think, i have no idea if they'll get made, so i don't really have a incentive to finish them quickly, about 6 weeks ago i set in motion something that could change everything.

On a web site called Shooting People (shootingpeople.org) which is an independent film makers resource, over 35.000 film makers are registered on this site, in Britain, New York, San Francisco and Los Angeles, they produce daily news letters in the form of an email, for Producers, Directors, Writers, Actors and other fields in the film industry, I asked for people living in my area, who were like myself, amateur film makers, so i could gather a group together to make short films, i did get responses but as of today only one, with the exception of a fella living in the midlands, seems passionate enough to reply to messages sent out, so on Tuesday or Wednesday of the coming week i shall meet this guy, Steven.

The ultimate goal is to be a self sufficient film maker, making a living making films, short and or feature, although I'm not sure there's money to be made in short films, could this be a new beginning for me, or like most of my plans will it flounder..?

Over the last few years its become clear that i can't work for other people, or large companies, my rebellious nature courses me to speak out, managers don't like that, they want you to just say "YES" and then bend over while they fuck you in the arse, i figure the only chance i have of a happy career doing anything would be if I'm in charge, and film making is something that i feel passionate about, i know i can write, i know i can direct, all i need is a crew i can work with, and who won't be afraid to tell me the truth, i don't want yes-men.

All i need to do is write more often, I've read countless times that i should set aside time everyday to write, something like 1 hour, although i think right now, 1 hour is to much time, I'm thinking more like 20 to 30 minutes, that time, once i get into my stride, will increase to well over an hour, but i just need to get into the habit of writing everyday, oh yea, i have noticed in the past that i can't write consistently over long periods, it always starts off great, lots of detail then after awhile i start to write almost in short hand, everything becomes brief, i need to find that limit and stop there for the day, that's like my writers wall.

I shall endeavor to write and pursue my dream of film making, weather my family think I'm wasting my time or not.

See you in Theaters soon.