Fatal Flaw.

We all have them right, each and every one of us has at least one flaw which dicataes our lives.

Last night i started to think a little about mine. Laziness. No matter how passionate i am about something. Or how motivated i am. I can never seem to shake off the laziness that, it seems i've had for longer then i originally thought.

I figured it started after my redundency back in 2004, i took a year off work and lived on my redundency money, i would spend days. Even weeks doing nothing but watching TV and or DVD's, during that time i gained a little weight, which i still have, and no matter how much i talked to myself about starting to exercise, i never did.

But that, ithink, wasn't where it began, as a kid, i would get home from school and instead of doing my home work i'd play video games or sit watching TV, no biggy right all kids do that, but even then i'd still sit watching crap because i didn't what to do the home work. Now even though i have tons of writing projects to do, i still feel like i'd rather just sit watching TV/DVD's.

Back in 2004/2005 i decided that i wanted to write film scripts, if i'd put in the work back then i'd have at least 10, maybe 15 finished scripts. But how many do i have in stead, well i'll tell ya, exactly 3, and the first one i hated so didn't even think about doing a rewrite. The second is in rewrite limbo and the third is collecting dust waiting for me to do something with it.

In the beginning, i didn't write very often because i never really believed that i could sell one, so subconsciously i suppose i thought "whats the point" so not writing very much wasn't really that big of a deal, i never had the confidence, but later, when i found it, buried deep inside me i used my old  unconfidence self as an excuse to cover the real problem. Laziness.

A few months back i decided i was going to writing 4 blogs. Go to my profile page to see them.

This one, i was going to write a few a week, just a "Whats on my mind" thing. The second 'Fisky's Movies Review', i was going to add one a week, reviewing films i liked or disliked, it didn't matter, the third 'Doors of my Subconscious' is a series of short stories, i've written three so far, but even they are over a year old and i haven't written one sinse then, and the fourth is a company one 'Fisk Film' where i'd write about what the company is doing, which at this point is nothing. I wanted so many blogs because i thought it might force me to do them, but then i have no obligation to, so why should i? Laziness Strikes Back.

And over the last few weeks i decided i was going to write a Novel, which is suffering from the same tired routine, i'd just rather sit on my ass and watch TV/DVD's.

Now, i know what my fatal flaw is, its Laziness. I also know how to over come this flaw, i need to stay busy long enough to develope a routine of writing, get to the point where i just do it, not because i need to, but because i what to. The past has shown me that when i'm busy i can work all day long, no problem. In fact i profer to work hard all day then sit on my ass doing nothing. Of course having no work to do when i'm actually at work isn't helping matters, i use a Mac at home and a PC here, the Mac will read the PC files just fine (.doc) but the word processor i use on my Mac (Pages) isn't recognised on PC's, so i have to convert everything to Rich Text Format (rtf) files so i can transfer and open files on both computers, but i loss any formatting i have. For scripts i use Final Draft (fdr) which, unless i buy a new PC version of Final Draft i can't open at all on the work PC, and using RTF, is out of the question because the format is important. I have done it before but spent hours reformating it in Final Draft, which is more trouble then its worth, not to mention the time wasted.

Summary: My flaw is, Laziness. to over come this flaw i need to force myself to work every day until i fall into a routine.