A Bi-polar drunk

I love a drink every now and then, who doesn't right.

And most of the time i'm a happy kinda drunk, i just kind of flow with what ever is going on, birthdays (as long as it ain't mine) weddings funerals Bar B Q's any occasion that lets you drink lots of booze around people who are also drinking lots of booze, and lets face it we can use anything, any occasion even leaving work on a friday night.

Now before i continue i have to iterate that i am a light weight, after just one pint of beer i can feel my eye brows get heavy, and five is about my limit, anymore and i'll be on the floor under a table laying in a puddle of my own vomit, yea pretty picture.

Most of the time i'm a happy/silly drunk, and just set out to enjoy myself and have fun, using my drunkenness as an excuse to get away with idiocy, it works most of the time, i think i get that from my old man, who spends most of his time trying to dance like Elvis to pretty much anything, he could dance Elvis style to hip hop, it ain't good, trust me, but the point is that he enjoys himself.

Another thing i get from my old man is that sometimes i flip quickly from being happy to either extremely violent or emotionally depressive and self deprecating.

The violent side is very illogical and irrational sparking out bursts of abuse and fist throwing, but a catalyst is needed.

As is the emotional side, it just kind of happens, no build up and there usually isn't any way to stop it, my emotional state is like lighting thermite or starting a nuclear reaction, a chain reaction that snow balls out of control, out of my control, i say and do things that i later regret, once i wake up of course.

Well i had an emo moment last night/this morning after drinking about 9 or 10 bottles of Carlsberg Export while chatting to a chick i happen to really like, but she never opens up and to be honest its was starting to get a little tiresome.

She's not great at taking complements, so when i do pay her some, she calls me a crackhead for saying so, and lately most of our "chats", which always start off so well, using video for a few hours, then she tells me that she's going off camera, and that we can continue our chat with IM, needless to say responses take a long time to come back.

Every now and then she gets depressed, so i ask,"What's up" and the responses i usually get are "Meh" or "You wouldn't understand". Its not about the understanding, sometimes it just helps to get it out, to tell someone. Or give me the back ground and help me understand.

Well that was my catalyst, and the reason i wrote my last blog.

I decided to stop going to all the social networking sites that i use, sites that are designed for human interaction just to detox from it all, although i'm not to sure about when I'm going back on to them, if at all, i mentioned Youtube in my last blog, which isn't a social networking site, so i will use it, but its unlikely that i'll respond to any comments or even make comments, i'll just watch my Subs and be done with it.

Regards

Whatever.

~Jay~