I'm trying....

To come up with something to say, or type, but can't really think of anything, so i figure i'll just start typing and see where it goes. @JenFriel calls it 

#Randombling, a 5 minute stream on consciousness, this might take a little longer the 5 minutes, because i can't type that fast.

This morning i woke up to an eMail from the SIA (Security Industry Authority) saying that they have "misplaced" my application, either in their building or in the post, as they were sending it back to me, there weren't very specific about that detail. So someone somewhere could have that application and have all the information they need to steal my identity. Bummer. Thanks SIA.

After that i heard my old man puking in the bathroom, it seems he's quite ill, something that the doctor told him about over a year ago, he just didn't go back for a follow up exam, idiot, now thats coming back to kick his arse as he is now in the hospital, and most likely having surgery, not exactly sure what it is as everyone who knows isn't giving me details, no one is giving me details today. He also found out that his Lungs and Liver are in bad shape, as in medical exams found "lumps" one on a lung and three small ones on his liver. 

I then spend a little while baiting PC users into a Mac Vs PC argument, its so easy to bait them, i love it, but you'd think they'd know by now, stupid people are so enjoyable.

And this evening i watched a rather good episode of Horizons on BBC 2, mostly about the misinformation we, the public, are giving about science. And interesting sequence showed one story in two different news papers, the same story but two different out comes. The story was about something referred to as "ClimateGate" where a scientist didn't explain his reasons for using two different points of data in a single graph, everyone thought that he was saying that Climate Change is a trick. One paper said something like "Shamed scientist is allowed to keep job" the other "Exonerated scientist returns to work". One gave a story of farce the other a man retaining his good name. the point is, don't believe the news paper when it comes to science, do you own research or read the Peer review on that subject, and not a reporter after a "scope" or "exclusive"  and then you have the political agenda of the chief editor. News Paper are not scientific papers, and the reporters are not scientists.

All i can say is, if your interested in science, and read it in the news papers your not getting the full story or even a faithful depiction of it. Don't put your faith in one news paper, or any news paper. Read the facts, the research in a peer review.

I love science, and before you say it, yes i'm an Atheist, I believe in Evolution, and the Big Bang, but thats a different blog all together.

Why do i need my own place..?

Well i just had a video sketch idea that would be fucking hahaha hilarious, but with others here, pretty fucking weird too.

In February i am partaking in a weight lose challenge with another youtube Jonni4Free, and we both have to give up 5 things for the month of Feb while we do this.

My five things are;

1. Pizza
2. Kebabs
3. Fish n Chips
4. Chocolate
5. Beer

And so i was thinking about doing a skit to detail what i'm giving up, my first instinct was to make a Gollum style skit.

I'd be wearing a grey loin cloth and be all, Gollum'ish with my five items, while stuffing my face with them all. Shouting at the camera and stuff, then have a conversation with myself, as Gollum and Me about "we have to, he looks after us".

This video would be very messy, loud and for others watching, weird, which is why the house would need to be empty for a long time, so i could clean up afterwards.

If i had my own place i could do this, and not just this but any skits i come up with without the danger of others getting in the way.

Negative renforcement...

I actually started this blog yesterday but never really came back to it after writing only one line, That line basically said, i'll be back to finish this later...Yea

So yesterday i was not in a sharing mood and yesterdays VLog shows that.

Every weekend my Sister and her 3 kids stay here, so the house is full of life, noise, moaning, shouting, and a 5 year old running around with the limitless energy that 5 year olds have.

Now, i recently learned that my Dad isn't very well, and my way of dealing with that is to just get on with things, to stay busy and try not to think about it. Why? because there is nothing i can do about it.

My sister on the other hand, thinks i should be worried and discussing something that  simply doesn't need a discussion, she wants to talk about it and get all upset over it, well i'd rather not thanks..... Does that make me heartless, or am i dealing with the "Bad" news in my own way, but not thinking about it.

I'm not stupid or heartless, i just deal with thing in a way that will induce the least amount of personal stress, my sister on the other hand will bite my head off if i say a bad word about Jordan (Katie Price). My sister brings all her personal family squabbles to my attention weather i want to hear it or not.

Maybe my sisters way of dealing with "Bad" news is to talk about it and get all up set, thats great, in a weird way, for her, but its not my way. This i think is where the conflict comes from, the big difference though is that i don't take it personally, I simply get on with life, my sister doesn't talk to me for the rest of the day or if she does its usually in the form of beration. "Your room smells" "You need a hair cut, and a shave" "Are you still making those stupid videos" yep doesn't end.

I guess it proves that, in my family at least, that Women take things personally and far to emotionally, where as Man, deal with things in a more logical analytical way, i.e. there is nothing i can do, so i'm not going to stress.

Not sure if you agree with that statement or not, and quite frankly i don't care. I'm speaking from personal experience.

My sister is always telling me of a new argument she is having with another family member, and you know what, its always with another woman. And i usually just sit quietly and listen, and agree with her because if i don't, i'm an idiot, go figure.

My family are all, mostly, of one mind, there fore if one member drinks beer, its weird if you don't, if they all have Trade jobs, and you don't, but are still making money, you don't actually have a "proper" job.

So in the end, because i don't deal with "Bad" news the same way as my sister, i must be wrong in some way, either that or i just don't care, and there fore my sister will spend the day badgering me berating me and telling me that everything i do is stupid/dumb, and if i don't want to help her out with something, usually because i've spent the day being berated, i'm suffering from unemployment syndrome.

With this family you either get in line or your doing it wrong. They sit on the motorway of life, stuck in a traffic jam hooking there horns, because they actually think that will compel people to move on. They're on this motorway because their Sat-Nav told them it was the quickest route, like it did everyone else, hence the Jam.

I decided to take a longer route, why, because it had better scenery and is less stressful.

We arrive at the same time because even though my route was longer, they were stuck in traffic, they are all sweaty, angry, irritable and argumentative, where as i'm fresh happy and ration, but because my route was a longer route, i did it wrong.

Yeah, i love my family, why, because they are my family, that is all. I really need to escape them, i need my own space, my own place, i need to spend time away from them, in a big way. I think that, even though i'm as old as i am, i can still grow as a person without them, i've spent to much time in my life around them, picking up personality traits i hate, i need room to define myself.

Oh and please, no comments to the effect of "Sorry to hear about your dad".




Yesterdays VLog.

Todays VLog, an explanation of yesterdays.

I have opened a Daily Booth account, Linkage HERE so i guess i'll be uploading a random picture every day.

And today my sister showed her support for my social media life this morning “Are you still uploading those stupid videos to Youtube” yep, my fam is the greatest support structure i will never need, This is why i never ask them for anything, why i’m rarely able to shoot films or sketches here, and why i am the only support i have or need, and as my family have never supported me through anything i’ve wanted to do with my life, unless its to their liking “Get a proper job” i’ll be happy to get my own place, and rarely see them or talk to them, at least then i can do my own thing and not be disturbed, shoot sketches and short films without having to wait for the house to be emptied first, morning noon and night, any time of day or night, camera ready, lights on music playing, do what i want.

CAN’T WAIT

But then i’ve known that i can’t count on my fam for this sort of thing for a long time, in this house liking your job is irrelevant,all that matters is that it pays the bills, but why work a shit job you fucking hate only to pay bills, where the fun in that, seriously.
Personally i’d rather work a job i like/love and pay the bills.
One thing i missed out of yesterdays post is that in the next few years i want to be in a situation where i’m happy doing something i want to do or love doing.
Because if your not happy doing what you do, then why do it?

Over the next few years........

I know exactly what i want to be when i grow up, do you?


Ok, i am grown up, kinda, well physically i'm grown up and i can be mature when i need to be, but most of the time i want to just behave like a child, personally its my secret to staying young, screw Olay, think young be young.


So this year, i want to make Fisk Film something that people, on Youtube anyway, will know, a name that says quality.
I'll be making more sketches, and will start to make short films, i might not have the high end cameras to do that but, i have the talent (Well i think i do anyway) but in order to make that happen i need more people, 2 would be good more would be better.


Writing these blogs is more then just something to do, trying to widen my social media foot print, which is also something i'm looking in to, but it helps me with my writing, by doing this every day, it'll help me to get in the habit of writing, every day. So i can work on those scripts, its also a creative outlet, just sitting here typing up whats on my mind at any given moment helps, seeing as i might come up with a new script idea, at any given moment.


Not that i'll be posting script ideas here, or on my website, that would be silly.


Although, if i do write script that i'm not going to produce i'll post them over on my site where you can, if you look, download them and make them yourself.


First, i need a job so i can earn money and keep the vultures (i.e. Banks) off my arse. And to get a new iMac.


Then, i need to get my Fisk Film, and my VLogging youtube channels on the partner program, the revenue from that will help pay towards camera and lighting equipment so i can make better quality films for you. Because lets face it, your my target audience.


The hope is to become a self employed film maker, and if that means i post all my films and other videos on Youtube then so be it.


I know i can't count on the support of my family, so i'm not even going to inform them of what i'm trying to do, but i will be using social media, like Twitter and Facebook to get the word out about my "Product" so the chances of them hearing about it is pretty high. Already they think i'm wasting my time, but i never listen, you get shit in this world if you don't go after it, and don't wait for someone else to come along and give it to you. If you want something bad enough and can put in the hours, then you can achieve anything, just ask @JenFriel (www.talknerdytomelover.com) She is a big inspiration for me, she knew what she wanted and went after it, good times and bad she stuck with it and now she pretty does what she wants to do, and earns a living, awesome Girl. Tell her i said hi. (@FiskyJay).


In the post my goals were maybe to big, i wanted to be a Film maker, making budgeted films for festivals and features worthy of Hollywood, but i see now that i was trying to reach to high to early. Don't get me wrong that is still a goal, but i've changed the strategy to get there some what. Now i'm taking the route i should have taken 5 years ago, I should have joined Youtube and started uploading videos back then, because if i did, i'd most likely have what i really want in life, to be happy earning a living doing what i love.


Now Youtube is so vast its harder to get recognised or even get a video watched unless you post something that goes viral, And that isn't easy, if it were everybody will be doing it. I just want to make good quality films that people will like, i want to earn my subscribers and view in a legitimate way not my joining programs like Sub4Sub or EarnSubscribers.com i what people to want to watch my stuff, and not out of some stupid obligation. So my content needs to be good.


SO i need to produce good content, i will also need to sell my arse off, i'll need people to see this stuff, but i hate it when i receive message from youtube that say "Check out my new video, and if you like it subscribe" every time i see this i just delete the message, and so i do not want to do that, so how do i get the subscribers and views..?


If i know that i would already be on it, i do have friends and subscribers already, and i'm sure if my VLogs were more interesting i'd have more, so thats where i'll start, in my VLogs, using them to create anticipation, by posting teasers and telling my subscribers to tell there friends, start slow and build on that, the VLogs will contain behind the scenes stuff.


Another route is the "Attach video" route, by going to the Youtubers that have the highest view counts, like NigaHiga, Smosh, CharleTrippy, The Station, ShayTards, SMPFilms etc etc, by posting my films as attached videos on the videos that will be getting a fuck ton of view will increase my chances of more people seeing my stuff. That should work will for sketches, Skits and "quickies". But i'll need to find a more appropriate place to attach the serious films, like Black Box TV.


In the end to get what i want, i need to sell myself, if i don't do that, i'll be working 12 hours a day in some boring, dead end, weight gaining, lazy inducing, pathetic, imagination sapping security job forever, and i already made a promise that if i'm still doing security when i', 40, i'll commit suicide.


That might be a joke, but i'll let you know more on that the closer i get to 40, its still aways away yet.


ANother part of what i'm want, is to help others in the youtube community to create their own films and sketches, by making this my job, i can then spend time helping out others to achieve there goals and dreams of becoming a film maker or entertainer. By helping them create great quality films and sketches, AWESOME.


My hope is, that in two years, if the world isn't exploded in December 2012, is to make short films and or features and have them on a big screen in a film festival. To become self employed doing what i love. And you guys and social media can help.

Bad news.....

How do you deal with bad news or at least when someone says its bad?




Earlier i was making a video for someone, it was just a youtube embed tutorial, as youtube have changed the code and the Ning network doesn't like it.


Anyway, my sister, in her usual way, knocks on my door then starts to walk in, she never waits for an ok, she just walks right in and asks why i haven't been door stairs to see how my dad's hospital visit went "It isn't good" then she waits for acknowledgement then leaves.


I know my dad, and i knew, he wouldn't be worried.


So i finish what i'm doing, making the video, why did i finish the video before going down stairs, because its how i deal with "Bad News" i want to stay busy.


My sisters why of dealing with bad news is to over exaggerate and worry when she doesn't need to.


So i eventually go down stairs and ask "Well?" i'm told that my dad had traces of  asbestos in his left lung, of course i'm getting this in brief, but my mum nor my dad seemed to worried about his, so then why should i worry?


Also he had a small lump on his right lung, he was a smoker, and three small lumps on his liver, but again, my mum nor my dad seemed to worry about this, and even though my dad was sitting and 10 feet away i started to refer to him in the third person, weird.


My sister is now going to shit her pants every time my dad coughs, and then come and till me about it, she probably thinks i'm insensitive or a sociopath, if she knew what that meant, which i'm sure she doesn't.


As my sister basis everything on emotion, as most women do, i base everything on facts, and right now, we have none, we have theories, and a biopsy next week should shed some light on what exactly the lumps are, but until then i'm not going to worry and stress myself out over it, that might sound insensitive, but right now, no one else seems to bothered about this.

Correction...............

Pet peeve;


When people feel the need to correct others if they used a word either out of context, or if their definition of that word is different.


If you understand what i'm saying, when i refer to Playboy as porn, then why do you feel the need to correct me by saying, Playboy isn't by definition Porn.


If i refer to Playboy as Porn, surely you understand what i'm saying.....?


Its people like this that can turn a discussion into an argument.


I haven't even seen a Playboy magazine since i was a kid, i'd find them abandoned in plastic bags, and as a young teenager it was my duty to rescue them and 'have a look', back then it was regarded as porn, Tits, Vagina explicitly clear to the camera. That in my eyes anyway is Porn, some people regard porn as Sexual penetration. He then referred to "British Tabloids" by which i think he meant 'The Sun' and 'Daily Star' which show tones of tits.


Breasts on there own, i don't consider porn, but close ups on a vagina i do, weather there actual penetration or not. Do i hold old values or am i correct?


Or simply does this guy have a personally definition for what porn is, regardless of its Dictionary definition?


Should we regard words by our own definitions or follow a standard, like a dictionary?

I really hate the #HSBC

So, i'm unemployed, have been since September, i'm constantly looking for work, everyday, weather its online, in local and national news papers, and even looking in shop windows. And even though i'm not earning any money i'm usually in pretty high spirits, most of the time. until i get a phone call from the #HSBC.


The first call was on 29th December 2010, on my Grifter channel, and the second on my Fiskyjay channel, both are embedded below.


The first call i got was a customer service rep asking me to pay £50, as i had only paid 100 from a 150 bill, now i would pay the full amount if i could afford to, but as i'm unemployed and only receive job seekers allowance £100 a month is all i can pay, unless i want my phone line turned off or my mobile phone cut off, which i don't want either don't, so i pay want i can afford.


The rep then told me that i've been a great customer for 8 years, always paying my monthly bills on time and usually more then i needed to (I was trying to clear it so i'd be rid of it forever) so i asked, if i've been such a great customer then can HSBC do me a favour, he told me he'd see what can be done about it.


Well, he came back and told me that the monthly bill of £150 (Actually £149) can be reduced down to just £100, because thats all i could afford to pay, so i'm like, Great, fantastic thank you. Then he drops the catch, if i accept that offer, my Credit Status will only be fucked for 6 years after i pay off my credit card, yep, my credit status will be fucked.


So lets say it takes me 5 years to pay off my card, and i'm finally rid of it for good, my credit status will still be screwed for a further 6 years, Thats 2021, i'd be 44 years old, and until thats sorted it's unlikely i'd be able to get a mortgage, or a loan, incase of emergency.


How exactly is that helping me?


He kept going on about my unemployment as a short term to long term thing, how should i know how long i'm going to be unemployed. Taking that offer fixes the short term problem but creates another one in the long term. How the FUCK does that help me?


I basically said no to that unhelpful offer.




That same guy called again to day (18.1.11) and told me that i'm £49 behind my monthly payments, yea because i already told you, i can't afford to pay the full 149, he then asked if i could pay it.


I swear to good, these people are drones, they can't be human and be that fucking stupid, can they?


Anyway, i basically started shouting at the poor guy "The banks coursed this financial bullshit we're in, then we the tax payers bail them out, and now the banks are pestering us for more, and now VAT is up 2.5% to 20%" i did this very loud in a public street. 


Maybe i'm in the wrong, i got the credit card in the first place and should have only spent what i could afford to pay for, ok lesson learned, but the banks basically harass us for missed payments, even if you can prove your unemployed and can't pay the full amount, there is no policy, precedent for the common and decent thing to do, you spent the money, now you better pay up, i don't care if you don't actually have it PAY UP.


Credit Card companies are no better then an illegal loan shark, but at least with a loan shark you understand exactly what the deal is, the guys a criminal. With large corporate banks, you'd expect different, you'd expect that if i can prove that i can't pay right now because of unemployment that there would be some policy set in place to put on hold your payments until you are working again, of course you'd have to prove your unemployed, so a Job Centre claimer number, which you give to the Bank, they check it, then put your account on hold, every month its checked again, until your no longer claiming Job Seekers Allowance.


They check my account once a month anyway, well a computer does, but surely in this age of computer technologies its easily within our grasp.


But then the Banks couldn't claim more money from you, Late fees, over due fees, and the extra interest from that. No, the Banks only want their money, weather you can pay it or not.


We should all take the time out of our hectic lives to kick a bank manager in the balls.


To be a great customer means nothing to the Banks, once they have you, they no longer care about you, your just a number, an account number, a mindless voice on the other end of a telephone, faceless, and in no way must they respect us, because that would be the human thing to do.


Banks are here to service us, we give them our hard earned money to look after, and for that we have no choice, we need a bank account, because without one, we can't really work legally. We are basically at their mercy for which they have none.


Credit Cards are worse, they are pure evil and if anyone reading this is thinking about getting a credit card, please DON'tT, it might feel good to spend that money but, remember its not yours, and if you can't pay it back fast enough, you'll be paying it back forever, and while that is happening, they own you.


Some people might sympathise with you, i would, and if you've read this far then you'd understand that, but some people won't, they'd say that its your fault for getting a credit card in the first place its not "YOUR" money. And that you should stop behaving like a victim because your not, you made the choice to get a credit card, now live with the consequences.


They think that hard truth is helpful, well it ain't, sorry but that kinda crap isn't what we're looking for, its tantamount to saying "Well if you didn't want your leg to get blown off by an I.E.D. then you shouldn't of joined the army, and gone to war".


Ok, that analogy was a bit strong.


Credit Cards are shoved down our throats, and one day, those people might end up in a similar situation, and i can bet my credit card limit, they will change their tune fast.

Check this shit out...DUDE!

If you read my blogs, then go read this one;

www.talknerdytomelover.com

A website created by this chick, @JenFriel #NerdsUnite.


She has 33 contributors to the site and i love reading it, or maybe i just love reading about her sexual frustration, Meh go read it NOW!

U.S. VISA

Back in May last year, thats 2010 for any time travellers that might be reading this, or incase you missed the time stamp. I applied for a visa, from the Visa Bureau so i could take a holiday (Vacation for you Americans) to California in June of last year, wait did i mention it was last year already............. i did..........ok.


Anyway, this visa was something like £30 (thats about $45 for you Americans) and i needed it from June 21st to the 28th, of June (For you people who are clearly not paying attention to this blog, you know who you are).


So, i receive an eMail, from the visa bureau, actually i get one every month saying the same thing but it only accord to me to write this blog now, just after i deleted the eMail that i received earlier today.


If i ramble, please let me know so i can ignore you.


Anyway, i read the eMail again, before i pressed 'Command/Shift and Backspace' (On a Mac) (Mac's RULE) doing that removes the eMail from the serves completely, so if you have any eMails you want rid of forever and own a Mac and use the Mail app, then do that, if you have a PC, running 'cough' Windows 'cough' then your pretty much screwed, oh well happy days.


Wow, i went really off topic, *Shakes fist at Microsoft* sorry, back on track, anyway i read this eMail again and its telling that my Visa, which i used to go to California last year (2010 for you time travellers) is still valid??? sure ok, wow a £30 ($45) goes a long way, but get this, its valid until May, next year, thats May 2012 for the time travellers.


Man you time travellers need a calendar or something, or a watch with date and time functions, even better if it changes the channel on your TV, oh wait they don't have TV's in the future, apparently they don't last beyond the mid-21st century. Its true, so says Captain Jean Luc Picard (#StarTrek #TNG #NerdsUnite) of the USS Enterprise NCC 1701-D/E.


Where was i.............?


Hold on, i need to read my own blog to figure out where i was going with this thing, hang on..........


Oh yeah thats right, a £30 ($45) Visa to visit the USA for a week, is still fucking valid, DUDE if i'd of known i would have stayed, and pretended to be an Australian backpacker.

Safari and iTunes to merge?

Just read this on www.macrumors.com;

"Three Guys and a Podcast claims that Apple is working to merge its iTunes application into its Safari browser later this year, creating a single application for browsing web and media content.

Apple may be preparing a massive move that will propel Safari from niche browser to market leader. The move to merge Safari and iTunes into one software solution appears long in the works, which may arrive this fall at Apple's usual iPod special event.

According to the report, one reason for the push is to boost Safari's market share among Internet browsers, where Apple has yet to crack the 5% mark. Tying iTunes into Safari, it is argued, would likely bring a significant boost to the company's share of the browser market as consumers turn to the integrated environment.

It is believed that Safari will be the only browser able to access iTunes, as iTunes is built into the browser itself. "Moving iTunes organizational side-bar into Safari isn't a monumental task" claimed a source, adding "Safari would skyrocket in use as a result of integrating the software titles together."

We are highly skeptical of the claim for a number of reasons, including significant reservations due to the rumor's source, which has in the past appeared to base its claims on significant amounts of speculation."






Ok, all i have to say on this is this, first Safari is glitchy as it is, and iTunes takes forever these days to boot up because my iMac is at least 4 years old, so if they merge both these apps together i'm not sure i'll ever be able to use either app properly again.


iTunes is so bloated that a Mac as old as mine take forever to load, even switching from Home to films or TV shows and apps takes ages, do i really want my web browser to slow down as well?


I've only been using Mac's a about 5 years, but i do know that Apple seem to test all the new App's and iOS firmware's on the newest products, so the older, slower products suffer, and so do their users.


As a VLogger i use Final Cut Express to edit and finish my videos, but i can't export a video and and have more then 2 apps open at a time, god forbid using iTunes, but i might not be able to use Safari if this is true, All i can really do on my Mac is surf and send and receive eMails,even watching videos on Youtube is bad, even once the videos have completely buffered or streamed, they still stutter when i watch them, that is if i'm exporting a video, which is something that i do every day.


Plus, exporting videos does take about 4 to 5 hours these days, and these videos are only 10'ish minutes long.


So, Apple, if you merge Safari and iTunes. I'm screwed, so thanks for thinking about your users who have older equipment, yea, thanks a butch.


I am trying to get an brand new iMac, full spec, but thats a long way off, seeing as i'm unemployed right now, and my first priority once i'm working again is to clear my fucking credit card (HSBC are evil).


So i guess i've had my rant, nighty night.

WTF............

I've been trying to sort out my websites blog crap out for the last few days and now i'm about ready to give up.

I wanted to have full control and not be on yet another Google platform, but it doesn't seem like i have much of a choice.

So here i am writing in a blog that no ones reads.

Not that people actually visited my website mind.........

But hey, at least here i can embed my youtube videos.

And update from my iPhone.

So i guess i'll be here, yet again, and maybe just give up altogether on the whole daily updates on my own site :(  

I'll be using my site www.fiskfilm.co.uk to simply embed my videos then.

BULLOCKS




But again, i have to say, it might be a better idea staying here, will, at least until something better comes along.........


That i can afford.......


But at least my updates are getting better...

You see, in 2008 i made two blogs

In 2009 12,

In 2010 44,

So in 2011 i should upload quite a few more. Maybe.