I'm trying....

To come up with something to say, or type, but can't really think of anything, so i figure i'll just start typing and see where it goes. @JenFriel calls it 

#Randombling, a 5 minute stream on consciousness, this might take a little longer the 5 minutes, because i can't type that fast.

This morning i woke up to an eMail from the SIA (Security Industry Authority) saying that they have "misplaced" my application, either in their building or in the post, as they were sending it back to me, there weren't very specific about that detail. So someone somewhere could have that application and have all the information they need to steal my identity. Bummer. Thanks SIA.

After that i heard my old man puking in the bathroom, it seems he's quite ill, something that the doctor told him about over a year ago, he just didn't go back for a follow up exam, idiot, now thats coming back to kick his arse as he is now in the hospital, and most likely having surgery, not exactly sure what it is as everyone who knows isn't giving me details, no one is giving me details today. He also found out that his Lungs and Liver are in bad shape, as in medical exams found "lumps" one on a lung and three small ones on his liver. 

I then spend a little while baiting PC users into a Mac Vs PC argument, its so easy to bait them, i love it, but you'd think they'd know by now, stupid people are so enjoyable.

And this evening i watched a rather good episode of Horizons on BBC 2, mostly about the misinformation we, the public, are giving about science. And interesting sequence showed one story in two different news papers, the same story but two different out comes. The story was about something referred to as "ClimateGate" where a scientist didn't explain his reasons for using two different points of data in a single graph, everyone thought that he was saying that Climate Change is a trick. One paper said something like "Shamed scientist is allowed to keep job" the other "Exonerated scientist returns to work". One gave a story of farce the other a man retaining his good name. the point is, don't believe the news paper when it comes to science, do you own research or read the Peer review on that subject, and not a reporter after a "scope" or "exclusive"  and then you have the political agenda of the chief editor. News Paper are not scientific papers, and the reporters are not scientists.

All i can say is, if your interested in science, and read it in the news papers your not getting the full story or even a faithful depiction of it. Don't put your faith in one news paper, or any news paper. Read the facts, the research in a peer review.

I love science, and before you say it, yes i'm an Atheist, I believe in Evolution, and the Big Bang, but thats a different blog all together.

Why do i need my own place..?

Well i just had a video sketch idea that would be fucking hahaha hilarious, but with others here, pretty fucking weird too.

In February i am partaking in a weight lose challenge with another youtube Jonni4Free, and we both have to give up 5 things for the month of Feb while we do this.

My five things are;

1. Pizza
2. Kebabs
3. Fish n Chips
4. Chocolate
5. Beer

And so i was thinking about doing a skit to detail what i'm giving up, my first instinct was to make a Gollum style skit.

I'd be wearing a grey loin cloth and be all, Gollum'ish with my five items, while stuffing my face with them all. Shouting at the camera and stuff, then have a conversation with myself, as Gollum and Me about "we have to, he looks after us".

This video would be very messy, loud and for others watching, weird, which is why the house would need to be empty for a long time, so i could clean up afterwards.

If i had my own place i could do this, and not just this but any skits i come up with without the danger of others getting in the way.

Negative renforcement...

I actually started this blog yesterday but never really came back to it after writing only one line, That line basically said, i'll be back to finish this later...Yea

So yesterday i was not in a sharing mood and yesterdays VLog shows that.

Every weekend my Sister and her 3 kids stay here, so the house is full of life, noise, moaning, shouting, and a 5 year old running around with the limitless energy that 5 year olds have.

Now, i recently learned that my Dad isn't very well, and my way of dealing with that is to just get on with things, to stay busy and try not to think about it. Why? because there is nothing i can do about it.

My sister on the other hand, thinks i should be worried and discussing something that  simply doesn't need a discussion, she wants to talk about it and get all upset over it, well i'd rather not thanks..... Does that make me heartless, or am i dealing with the "Bad" news in my own way, but not thinking about it.

I'm not stupid or heartless, i just deal with thing in a way that will induce the least amount of personal stress, my sister on the other hand will bite my head off if i say a bad word about Jordan (Katie Price). My sister brings all her personal family squabbles to my attention weather i want to hear it or not.

Maybe my sisters way of dealing with "Bad" news is to talk about it and get all up set, thats great, in a weird way, for her, but its not my way. This i think is where the conflict comes from, the big difference though is that i don't take it personally, I simply get on with life, my sister doesn't talk to me for the rest of the day or if she does its usually in the form of beration. "Your room smells" "You need a hair cut, and a shave" "Are you still making those stupid videos" yep doesn't end.

I guess it proves that, in my family at least, that Women take things personally and far to emotionally, where as Man, deal with things in a more logical analytical way, i.e. there is nothing i can do, so i'm not going to stress.

Not sure if you agree with that statement or not, and quite frankly i don't care. I'm speaking from personal experience.

My sister is always telling me of a new argument she is having with another family member, and you know what, its always with another woman. And i usually just sit quietly and listen, and agree with her because if i don't, i'm an idiot, go figure.

My family are all, mostly, of one mind, there fore if one member drinks beer, its weird if you don't, if they all have Trade jobs, and you don't, but are still making money, you don't actually have a "proper" job.

So in the end, because i don't deal with "Bad" news the same way as my sister, i must be wrong in some way, either that or i just don't care, and there fore my sister will spend the day badgering me berating me and telling me that everything i do is stupid/dumb, and if i don't want to help her out with something, usually because i've spent the day being berated, i'm suffering from unemployment syndrome.

With this family you either get in line or your doing it wrong. They sit on the motorway of life, stuck in a traffic jam hooking there horns, because they actually think that will compel people to move on. They're on this motorway because their Sat-Nav told them it was the quickest route, like it did everyone else, hence the Jam.

I decided to take a longer route, why, because it had better scenery and is less stressful.

We arrive at the same time because even though my route was longer, they were stuck in traffic, they are all sweaty, angry, irritable and argumentative, where as i'm fresh happy and ration, but because my route was a longer route, i did it wrong.

Yeah, i love my family, why, because they are my family, that is all. I really need to escape them, i need my own space, my own place, i need to spend time away from them, in a big way. I think that, even though i'm as old as i am, i can still grow as a person without them, i've spent to much time in my life around them, picking up personality traits i hate, i need room to define myself.

Oh and please, no comments to the effect of "Sorry to hear about your dad".




Yesterdays VLog.

Todays VLog, an explanation of yesterdays.

I have opened a Daily Booth account, Linkage HERE so i guess i'll be uploading a random picture every day.

And today my sister showed her support for my social media life this morning “Are you still uploading those stupid videos to Youtube” yep, my fam is the greatest support structure i will never need, This is why i never ask them for anything, why i’m rarely able to shoot films or sketches here, and why i am the only support i have or need, and as my family have never supported me through anything i’ve wanted to do with my life, unless its to their liking “Get a proper job” i’ll be happy to get my own place, and rarely see them or talk to them, at least then i can do my own thing and not be disturbed, shoot sketches and short films without having to wait for the house to be emptied first, morning noon and night, any time of day or night, camera ready, lights on music playing, do what i want.

CAN’T WAIT

But then i’ve known that i can’t count on my fam for this sort of thing for a long time, in this house liking your job is irrelevant,all that matters is that it pays the bills, but why work a shit job you fucking hate only to pay bills, where the fun in that, seriously.
Personally i’d rather work a job i like/love and pay the bills.
One thing i missed out of yesterdays post is that in the next few years i want to be in a situation where i’m happy doing something i want to do or love doing.
Because if your not happy doing what you do, then why do it?